Excellence, Expectation and Emotion in Education

What does success look like at the end of high school? I have taught literally hundreds of students across many schools and curriculums. Ask them what success is and it seems to be seen as the same things. Many of them are now at top universities, high-flying careers or taking on ambitious projects. Successful, right? But no matter what they are doing now when they reach out to me, or reflect on their school years a common theme emerges:

They don’t talk about what they learned. They talk about how hard they had to perform.

At one graduation ceremony I recently attended the valedictorian's speech consisted of her complaining about wading through assignments and deadlines. The struggle is central; striving to standout: to outscore peers, to pad university applications with awards, internships, extracurriculars, and top grades seems to have replaced the joy of learning. I know its not all doom and gloom, but for many the school environment they often describe is tinged with rivalry, where the fear of falling behind overshadows curiosity. Seemingly the race never ends; it just shifts from school corridors, to lecture rooms, to global job markets.

Very few mention the pleasure of discovery, the joy of a challenge, or the excitement found in intellectual discussion. In most traditional academic setups, learning has become transactional: you complete the task, you get the grade, you move on. But what gets lost is far more vital: meaning, connection, joy.

This pressure-cooker model often produces students who appear steady on the outside - confident, articulate, seemingly invincible. Yet, they are usually walking a tightrope, with arms full of obligations, and a smile fixed for peers, teachers and parents. What the audience doesn't see is the fear of slipping, the strain behind the performance. The strain that can lead to silent depression.

The Silent Success

Evidently a lot of students in top schools often appear to be excelling with top marks, teeming with extracurricular awards, and poised for interviews. But when you speak to them honestly, in boarding houses, during break times, you begin to realise what's often unspoken: they're functioning, but not feeling.

They describe moving from task to task - assignment, activities, exams - with little emotional returns. Even when they succeed, the feeling is rarely joy - its relief or nothing at all. You have seen this before. You ask yourself - why aren't they happy? The emotional flatness has a name: anhedonia - a key feature of high-functioning depression (HfD).

Renowned psychiatrist, Dr. Judith, Joseph, explains that this exhaustion is common in high-functioning students, especially those who internalise pressure while appearing composed. Many are carrying more than school stress. They are balancing:

Family expectations rooted in financial, cultural, or migratory sacrifice

Social dislocation, often thousands of miles from extended support networks

Language and identity pressures, which make it harder to feel seen or safe

Relentless assessment cycles, where success is measured in deadlines, not growth

Research from the University of Cambridge Faculty of Education (2023) found that students in academically-selective schools showed disproportionately high rates of perfectionism, self-criticism and symptoms consistent to dysthymia and anhedonia. Crucially these students often internalised distress, marking it as a by-product of success.

It seems students are not asking for less ambition. They’re asking for room to breathe and maybe, to feel something again. How did we get to this point? Has it always been this way?

How are schools unintentionally encouraging this culture?

Many of our educational systems often reward the appearance of excellence. However, cultivating kind of this culture can produce negative impacts including:

Valuing grades over growth: Merit is equated with output, not resilience or creativity

Staff burnout: Teachers working through exhaustion may model silence and over-functioning

Timetabling overload: Students juggle extended essays, internal assessments, CAS, exams, and university prep with little space for restoration or meaning-making

This isn't about blame, its about capacity. Even the best educators, and counsellors are too often working under time-constraints and institutional pressures that prevent deeper support.

Seeking Solutions Beyond School

In recent years, most students, and parents are seeking support outside of school – but not for enrichment, or exploration. Instead, they are outsourcing what used to be typical provisions of a school: academic guidance, university preparation and emotional navigation.

At Verdant and with from conversations with similar partners, we’ve noticed that young people are turning to private tutors, coaches, consultants, and mentors at an increasing rate not because they want to go further, but because they fear falling behind.

Students are not trying to thrive. They’re trying to survive...

Its no longer about enrichment. Its about triage. With overstretched guidance counsellors juggling hundreds of students and classroom teachers burdened by mounting administrative loads, and large classes, students are left to fill the gaps themselves. Those gaps include:

In 2023 ISC Research found that over 58% of international school students used some form of external academic coaching or consultancy in their final two years of school. Of those, 72% reported doing so because they “didn’t feel sufficiently guided” by their school support systems.

Students should not have to earn support. They should receive it as a basic part of their education.

The Great Disconnect

This month marked IB Results Day, with A-Level Results Day fast approaching. I remember receiving my results. We were all packed into the school hallway, receiving our transcripts; brimming with excitement and connection with each other. Once a communal rite of passage filled with shared tears of celebration or consolation, results day has become a lonely click on a computer screen.

Students are now expected to experience life-changing news alone, refreshing a results portal on their phone before breakfast.

This sterile experience mirrors anhedonia - the inability to feel joy from normally pleasurable activities. And it's spreading among students and teachers alike. High-functioning depression allows anhedonia to become the norm: attend class, takes notes, achieve results, without feeling nor meaning.

Education is meant to inspire, not just instruct. But increasingly students and teachers report feeling disconnected from the purpose of what they do. At prestigious schools where rigour and reputation often take centre stage learning can become transactional. Grades are posted on promotional posts, but there's nothing about how the students or teachers felt. Curiosity is replaced with compliance.

“Will this be on the test?” becomes the defining question.

Some teachers, too, are struggling. Under pressure to meet targets, process grades/reports, and keep up with policy shifts. Many no longer have the space or energy to foster deep connections. Passion becomes protocol.

Lessons are taught. Deadlines are met. But the spark what drew so many educators to the profession is dimmed.

This disconnection from joy is not incidental. It is symptomatic of an overly quantified, outcome-driven system that rarely stops to ask what students (or teachers) feel during the learning process.

In a recent survey conducted by the International Schools Network (2024), 74% of teachers said they felt “emotionally depleted” by the end of term. Among students aged 16–18, over 60% reported feeling that their learning was “not meaningful,” and nearly half struggled to identify a recent moment of joy or inspiration in their school life.

Helping Students Flourish, Together

At Verdant, we understand that academic success and emotional well-being are interconnected. We often work with students who are doing everything right on paper, but quietly struggling behind the scenes. Support should not be reactive or reserved for crisis points. So we consciously weave it into the learning journey encouraging not just achievement but resilience, confidence, and joy.

We will continue to work in partnership with families, students and schools to gently reintroduce balance:

• Mentor Matching – Pairing students with trusted guides who combine subject expertise with emotional insight - people who listen as much as they teach

• Partner Support – Offering tools that may help educators spot early signs of HfD (as other mental health concerns) and respond with care, not pressure.

• Parent Collaboration – Supporting families as they navigate expectations, communication, and the emotional realities of modern educational systems.

Services like ours don't want to replace any school or a school’s mission - we want to help enhance and expand it. By working together, we can ensure that students not only succeed, but feel seen, supported, and whole.

A Call for Balance

The presence of high-functioning depression in schools must no longer be the hidden cost of excellence. It is time to ask not just how well are our students performing? but also how well are they living?

Academic References

Cambridge University Faculty of Education (2023). High-Achieving Students and Mental Health in International Contexts

Joseph, J. (2022). “The Silent Struggle: High-Functioning Depression in Teens.” Panel at the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry

Brown University School of Public Health (2022). Adolescents with Masked Depression in Academic Settings: A Longitudinal Study

Harvard Graduate School of Education (2021). The Cost of Perfectionism in High-Performing Schools

World Health Organization (2021). Adolescent Mental Health: Key Facts

Are You Experiencing High-Functioning Depression?

Take this confidential screening tool from Mental Health America to reflect on your experience: https://screening.mhanational.org/screening-tools/depression

Helplines for Students and Teachers

United Kingdom

Samaritans (24/7): 116 123 | www.samaritans.org

YoungMinds Textline: Text YM to 85258

Teachers’ Support Line (Education Support): 08000 562 561 | www.educationsupport.org.uk

International

Befrienders Worldwide (international helpline database): www.befrienders.org

International School Counselors Association (ISCA): www.iscainfo.org

UNICEF U-Report Mental Health Resources: ureport.in